Waltzing....

One step forward... one step forward...one big step forward... one small step back...... one step forward... one step back

- Definitely not predictable steps!!!

This attachment waltz is a very familiar dance here in our house, since Andy still dances it with me still after a year and a half of dancing. Trying to dance it with one of them and taking steps forward at the same time the other is taking one back is easier, believe it or not. When they both take a step back at the same time, I have been getting knocked off balance a bit.

But then again this past month has been a waltz of weather changes too... so maybe that has something to do with it all. It has just been absolutely crazy on the school and work front for a few weeks now!

Aubri is a preteen right now and hormones abound. She realizes it though and is asking lots of questions as to why she is so easily brought to tears lately and what these other changes are.... She is tackling it all bravely though and I am so very proud of her!

Andy has been struggling lately with his being so busy and talking non stop to maintain his seat as the center of attention here at home. I try to make sure that he always gets special time, but sometimes it is just not possible due to time constraints and he makes sure to let me know he needs it! He tries so hard, is such a wonderful helper, a super little hugger and is is such a good boy! He just has to be moving and talking and yelling to feel alive, I think! This doesn't do well for learning letters, letter sounds, numbers etc.... He tries so hard!! He just has to be moving and paying attention to everything else that it is just not taking a priority in his learning curve. He knows everyone in the school and is such a friendly little guy but really struggles with the "less important stuff". We are starting to do some Brain Gym exercises in the am before school, added a tiny bit more medication doing more brain gym in the afternoon and I am even working with him using the Sonday System to learn his letter sounds. He just really struggles with it immensely. While this is not a step back in attachment, he has started asking me again before he goes to bed if I still love him. It breaks my heart.... I don't know if this is because I have been trying harder to help him learn or because of Sera also getting my attention..... I just do not know. I know he will start to feel better about himself soon because he is such a smart little guy that we will eventually figure out the meds or activities he needs to help him sit to focus to learn . He wants so badly to know the answers and be able to show off to his sisters!!! I am so proud if him for trying so hard!!

Sera has been doing really well. She has been quite easy in fact, until just recently with a few minor setbacks. She had started to fit the "ideal/ perfect" adoption ( outside of being the left hook champ in China), which was scaring me a bit, because she has been too easy and way to happy and cooperative with everything.

Our night time rocking and banging had completely subsided and she has been happy to go to bed and cuddle. We discovered that she does this during the day now only when she is really frustrated, scared and angry. She has had very few incidents like that since coming home. She is such a cutie and loves to play the bedtime rituals or kissing and naming body parts saying prayers etc... I have no idea how she became so willing a participant, or why she now feels so comfortable snuggling up to me as she sleeps and wakes. She is the last child I put to bed, since she takes a good nap in the afternoon and is wired while the other 2 get ready for bed. She has been going to bed when I do and I have gone to bed earlier and just wake earlier to get my work done. She initiates cuddling and wants to drift off to sleep in my arms each night. I have no problem with that!!! It is my favorite time of the day! I really thought it would take much longer for her to even appear to be semi comfortable. I know she slept in a crib in Changchun, or at least I think she did. I almost wonder if she wasn't in foster care prior to her update photos and medical and was just shell shocked when taken back to the SWI? If not, she is extremely adaptable to do whatever needed to survive and has decided that imitating the other two kids is the best strategy now!


She wants me to help her now when she needs something and will cry for me when she is scared or unhappy with her brother or a dog, rather than just sitting and screaming and refusing to let me touch her or comfort her. She is reaching for me when we are with other people, but will go to them to greet them and continues to charm everyone we meet with her smile and laugh.

Bath time is her most terrifying time and we try to limit them to 3 a week. She absolutely HATES them! She will happily sit and play ,but when the water comes to wet her hair, she is MAD! We are trying all kinds of ways, but so far she hates them all! She loves the lotion after her bath though and quickly calms down. I wish I could figure out a better way.....

She has also gone from being highly demanding of eating everything in sight and loving every piece of clothing I gave her, to being much pickier and having big tantrums over not having what she wants on the table or given to her as a clothing choice. Boy, can she ever kick those feet! She drops to the floor and away they go! She wants to wear the frilliest clothing, and preferably to dress up costume at all times. She loves her bling bling and will wear rings and bracelets to daycare and still be wearing them at the end of the day. She has some definite preferences and that is great, but is not always what can happen.... I know it is her need to stay in control and try to give her choices that I think she might settle for, without giving her exactly what she wants.

For example, last night she insisted on wearing her new dress and tights we got for a family photo to bed! She screamed and screamed, banged on the closet and threw her little body on the floor and cried for 30 minutes plus. I was so tired, she was tired and it was definitely not the way I had hoped for bedtime to go. She finally settled for her PJs when Andy put his fleece PJ's on and Aubri went to put hers on and we started or bedtime routine without her. She had her PJ's in hand and brought them to me to help her put on, with many sniffles and very soon smiles and kisses.

Also, while we were out at Walmart this week, she had a bowel accident, due to medication most likely, since her sinuses are constantly infected. She NEVER has bowel accidents any more, and is so good about keeping herself clean. It upset her so much that she started rocking and moaning in the cart. She would not stop with any type of comfort and once we got home, she curled up and rocked herself to sleep, before she would allow me to clean her up. Once she had calmed herself to sleep, she was happy to be touched and comforted, but it truly felt that she had gone back in time somewhere, to a place touch was not comforting. It was just so sad. I couldn't sleep at all....

I know I am so blessed that our waltzing lately is just very TINY steps backward and much bigger steps forward. I know I hadn't posted for a while and had people asking how the adjustment was going, so I thought I would share.

Sadly this old mommie is having to come to terms lately that she is just not a very good dancer and has horribly bad balance at the end of the work day, both literally and figuratively! I am easily saddened lately at the trials my kids are facing, but so easily brought to a smile with their success! They say practice makes perfect though, and I cannot imagine better motivation than these sweeties!!

Also.... if anyone can join us in prayer for the much, much more difficult waltz my dad is doing with my step mom and the horrible alzheimer's which is stealing her mind.... please do!! Each day is so very difficult now. She is having such a difficult time. I feel so badly for her. My dad loves her so much and is so patient with each and every step. He is worlds ahead of me in patience.... At least I get to see the steps forward and enjoy the kids kisses, hugs and smiles with each success...I love and admire him immensely!