Need an instruction book!!!!

I have been torn recently as I try to psych Sera up for her surgery and help her be excited about being able to speak clearly. I have not talked as much about how different her lip looks from other peoples lips, but always tell her that I love her little lip. Right now I really don't know if I am approaching it from the right perspective. I need a parenting manual with directions on how to handle this!

Now, mind you we deal with people stopping to glance quickly at Sera's face when they first see it on a regular basis. Most of the time they go on as if they had not seen any differences. All of my friends and people in her school are very accustomed to it and honestly it is easy to forget there are differences in her lip when we are at school. Most other places are pretty easy to go to also, without having to explain about it too many times. My kids and I all stop people when they stare openly and rudely and simply tell them that she is not in pain and will have surgery soon to repair her lip so that she can speak more clearly. That generally is very sufficient and most people smile at her and are very kind follwing this type of intervention. It actually works best if my kids explain it and it seems to help ease children's fears.

Today, however, we had a BAD day with it! We had gone to the public library and Sera was literally drawing a CROWD of little open mouthed staring children, along with several gaping mouthed teenagers!! It was unbelieveable!! We provided our routine explanation and went on reading our book together while we continued to have a very rude audience who absolutely refused to quit gaping at her until our good friend who was with us actually told them they were being VERY rude and needed to leave! Believe it or not, they still stared! It was like Sera had suddenly turned into a Martian!! I hid her face with the book and just continued reading to her and even reread the book, in hopes they would leave before I had to put it down. Finally I started glaring and staring back over the top of the book. One little boy absolutely refused to back down until I coughed and caught his eye with the most evil teacher glare I could muster. Then he backed off with a very frightened look and went into another section quickly, while calling for a sibling. I felt badly for him but was so annoyed that I truly did not care if he had a parent come yell at me and was very prepared to call for security. Thankfully, nothing came of it and we finished our books and decided to leave to get our groceries. My oldest knew it was to leave before anyone else came over to stare, but she was so good to not say a thing. Sera was a happy little shopper and the afternoon went much better from that point on. I was very grateful that I did not see one person in the grocery store stare at all, and several people even spoke very kindly to her and my other children.

Nothing is all black and white and there truly are very kind people around us most every day. It just scares me sometimes how a few people can make such a big impression on my heart in not such a positive way. It scares me more to think of what types of impressions they have left on her heart.....

So, while I will desperately miss my baby's special little face, I truly do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it must be repaired. Thanks to the families who do not bother to teach children about respecting accepting differences in people, my baby has had far too much grief thrown her way in her short little life. She has been such a survivor and is the sweetest, happiest and spunkiest little kid despite it all. However changed her little face will be, her sweet little spirit with undoubtably still shine through.

I can only hope that I have said the right things to her and to others about her in her presence. I can only pray that the scars she wears on her heart will not continue to be bigger than the scars she will hide on her face.... I can only hope and pray that someday she will know how much I love her, scars and all...