Sometimes I really do forget

just how much different my little Sera is now from when I first heard about her.

I just read a comment on FB from the man who saw Sera in China and hoped for a better future for her while he orchestrated her adoption from China. He noted how much change he was seeing in her photos from the child he saw in China, who was

"withdrawn and would not look at anyone, or do anything."

That is soooo NOT the child she has become!! I try not to wonder too much about what would have become of her if so many people had not helped me bring her home and give her a chance to blossom.... Once in a while though, I think it is OK, so that I can thank them again!! YOU know who you are and I so hope that you know what wonderful works you have done!!!

She is JOY in every aspect and has blessed us all immeasurably. 'No doubts that these blessings will continue to multiply and be shared with even more people as she grows up and her circles of friends increase and multiply as well.

Here is a photo page of the child he met (when she was 2 yrs 8 months yrs old.) I think that is when he was there... These were the first set of photos I received when she had just been placed in the foster home for a little over a month. She was still not even trying to learn to crawl or walk, not trying to talk, just quietly pulling away from the world as she knew it. Doctors did not believe she was hiding in there and thought she was most likely facing severe cognitive and physical disability. She knew better though!


Here is a video clip I took of her Saturday. ( 4 yrs 11 months old- less than one month until her first major facial repair!!) I was taking the video because she was just being a ham for no reason, just because she was happy :-) If I got the camera out more often I would have many more clips of her singing and dancing though her days. She really did not know I was videoing, her... she was oblivious in her enjoyment of tippy toeing through the store, which she had been doing out in the parking lot prior to coming in the store :-)



I need to be sneaky to get more video of her just talking and playing which she does almost every moment of the day... really, except when she is sleeping or angry at her sibilings :-) The joy and animation in her voice is really something a photo just cannot capture! The bad part is my other kids all try to jump in and making it just a goof fest... She is goofy and doesn't always know I have the camera on, but once they all get going, knowing they are on camera... WATCH OUT!! She is a character and has learned from true camera hams!!

If you would like to meet more sweet little people this man and his wife have been helping, please visit www.bringinghopetochildren.org and you will even see some of the nannies who helped Sera begin to learn escape her protective shell and learn to walk. You won't regret it. they even have a video cam to watch the babies in the foster center on Sunday evenings. Sera loves watching them and always prays for the Changchun babies. I think it plays on her heart, as it does mine and Aubri's, that there are more children there in similar circumstances as Sera once was, who desperately need our hopes and prayers. ( Andy may understand, but since his experiences have been so different, he relates China to his foster care and being treated like an emperor ) They do such wonderful things there in the foster home! Kids survive and THRIVE!!!! I have living proof telling me to get off the computer to go help her take a bath right now!

Summer Fun

Half of our summer break is already over! Time flies so fast!

It is odd, but even though I am only working half days, it truly feels as if we are even busier than when school is in session! I guess it is because I want the kids to enjoy every possible opportunity they can while we have more time, which leads us to less time. Oh well!! They are having a blast!

We are in our neighboor hood pool almost daily. I swear I have fish for children!! Andy and Aubri will be taking swim lessons next month and have had several in the evenings this month. Andy is swimming underwater and above water like he was born in the water. It is hard to believe that 2 summers ago he would scream and scream when he had to take his toes off the bottom of the pool. I think Aubri has been a better teacher for him than swimming lessons have. She is a pro and may consider joining a swim team this next fall. Sera doesn't swim, but she loves to play in the water. Someday SOON, her little lip will close and she will be able to keep the water out of her mouth. I think talking about her lip surgery when she wants so badly to swim like her siblings, has helped her want to have it done even more. She will be a fish next summer, no doubt there!

Sera is taking a ballet class that I got to watch for the first time this last week. It was so cute!! She tries so hard and really does a great job following directions. Now balancing on one foot, well that will come :-) I had several good chuckles as I watched her bounce around. She was very clear to Aubri, Andy and I that we were to watch her, because " I am a ballerina and you must watch me! " I was so proud of her. Especially knowing that since most of the other girls she is in class with were just 3 and that at 3 she was truly toddling and falling on her bottom like an 18 month old. She is catching up by leaps and bounds!

Additional to her ballet class, she is also taking gymnastics, as are both Aubri and Andy. Aubri is a very late starter, but she is enjoying learning and that is what it is all about. She had not taken a gymnastics class before, but has enjoyed dance classes. I had not put her in them for a while while completing adoptions and putting her in more music lessons, but she really wanted to do this with her little bro and sis. Her class is more focused on skills for cheerleading which I doubt she ever really uses for that purpose, but she will use the stretching. dance techniques and self confidence she is building. Andy loves bouncing and flying around the house, so a place where this is encouraged and shaped into more useful practice is truly right up his alley. Sera is so excited to try everything and has really made huge improvements with her balance. They will all be taking a week long camp program there this next week and all of them are really excited about it. I am taking kids back and forth all week for these classes!

Aubri has a band concert this week, and a choir concert. She had to make a mask for the band concert so I am very curious as to what the director has up his sleeve. She really is enjoying the French horn and I am very proud of her efforts.

Andy had a Dr appt this week to talk about some issues he has been having with bladder incontinence. The anal atresia repair he had as a baby may have damaged some of his nerves. He will be going in for a huge study under total anesthesia in July to determine if further surgery is needed or if we will be catheterizing him. I am really hoping that his leaking is due to a fistula, which can be repaired surgically. Neither option sounds very good to my ears, but we will figure out how to help him cope with this somehow.

We also went to a Cricket game this last weekend, to figure out what it was like and the kids had fun until we were rained out. It was a very different game from what we are used to watching but since I have Quiddit*h fans in Andy and Aubri, they both had figured out some of the similarities Cricket has to their favorite magical sport. The league here is not used to many specatators, and we stuck out a bit as total newbies who knew nothing about the game. It was OK though, because one of the players was very kind to explain what was going on. It was a good learning experience and we even had fun doing it :-)

Now that ESY will be out on Friday, we are going to head to Science City a few times to check out the Chocolate exhibits, the Dinosaur digs and the Narnia experience. Gymnastics camp and swim lessons will keep us out and about too. The public library will also be keeping us busy. Then Sera's Chicago appts, Andy's testing, Sera's surgery and then back to school!

Wish me luck in getting some of the other more mundane housekeeping things I had wanted to do in the meantime!!! I think I will need it!

My oldest baby...

is growing up so fast! She has been spending her mornings going to summer band and honor choir, then coming to my classroom to help for an hour before ESY lets out. She has been so excited about the new music she is learning and has been a pretty good helper too. She will tend to ask why, more than my paras do, when I ask her to do something, but once she understands, she is on it. I have really been impressed with her abilities to see the children in my class for the sweet and wonderful kids they are. She enjoys being there and they know it and also enjoy her attention, especially when she talks to them about stuff that "us old folks" cannot relate to. It is good all the way around! I included a photo of her with one of my students she is exceptionally fond of. I wish I could include the smile being returned, but if you imagine the smile of an angel, you will know why Aubri is smiling too!

Aubri is also helping me in the afternoons, enjoying a summer dance class, her youth group activities and of course SWIMMING! She is such a joy to parent! She is so good with her siblings, most of the time, and when they annoy her, she is also god at putting them in their place :-) I love that they are enjoying good times together and that they enjoy being with each other. I am so grateful for her help, too!

I don't really know why I have been so blessed to be mom to this sweet girl, and for that matter, all 3 of my kids, or to have a job I would do for free ( if I won the lottery) but I am sure glad I have been!! I know true blessings!

3 years ago today...

Aubri and I flew into Shenyang from Beijing and traveled directly to the Civil Affairs to "take a peek" , as our guide translated to us, at our Andy. At that point he knew he was meeting us and had said his goodbyes to his nanny and foster family. He was asleep on the couch when we arrived and I was asked to immediately start signing paperwork. When he woke, he enjoyed playing with a red car with Aubri, but really did not want much to do with me and clung to his orphanage director. We were then rushed to have our photos taken and then taken back to the hotel, where Andy was left with us before I had even understood that he was being left. Needless to say, he wasn't too happy about it but after about an hour of crying, he was willing to go out to the Walmart to shop with us. It was not my brightest move to do without a guide as a brand new parent in a city where very few people speak English and I had absolutely no knowledge of how shopping works in China. After being horribly stressed with crowds of people following us around and little Andy/HuaDi laughing his head off at us crazy white folks while commenting to the crowd how he thought we were nuts... We finally made it back to the hotel and eventually got to sleep. It was definitely an extremely adrenaline filled day!!!

Today was soooo much easier!! This little boy who thought he was emperor of the world, thought girls were definite second class citizens and had no idea how to cope with rules, went to school and had a wonderful morning. He was not in trouble at all and was even very helpful! He chose a movie to go see and where to go eat, while considering his sisters likes and dislikes as well. I bought him a new DS, since water had "accidentally" spilled on the one he got for Christmas sometime in the month of January... This time he promises to keep it dry! :-) We had to go to Walmart, just for the tradition, of course!

I wish I could say that the least three years have been easy. With Andy's learning disability, his ADHD, his exceptionally high IQ, and initial attachment issues, there have definitely been struggles for him, and for us, along the way. I can say, however, that they have been worth every moment of frustration while Andy learned to acclimate to a family and attach to us. We love him so and cannot imagine life without him!! He is "our boy", as Sera calls him and definitely is an amazingly smart, funny, and super sweet one!! He is my baby boy and I love him more than he will ever know! He definitely brings a different perspective to this family and we are truly blessed by it!

Need an instruction book!!!!

I have been torn recently as I try to psych Sera up for her surgery and help her be excited about being able to speak clearly. I have not talked as much about how different her lip looks from other peoples lips, but always tell her that I love her little lip. Right now I really don't know if I am approaching it from the right perspective. I need a parenting manual with directions on how to handle this!

Now, mind you we deal with people stopping to glance quickly at Sera's face when they first see it on a regular basis. Most of the time they go on as if they had not seen any differences. All of my friends and people in her school are very accustomed to it and honestly it is easy to forget there are differences in her lip when we are at school. Most other places are pretty easy to go to also, without having to explain about it too many times. My kids and I all stop people when they stare openly and rudely and simply tell them that she is not in pain and will have surgery soon to repair her lip so that she can speak more clearly. That generally is very sufficient and most people smile at her and are very kind follwing this type of intervention. It actually works best if my kids explain it and it seems to help ease children's fears.

Today, however, we had a BAD day with it! We had gone to the public library and Sera was literally drawing a CROWD of little open mouthed staring children, along with several gaping mouthed teenagers!! It was unbelieveable!! We provided our routine explanation and went on reading our book together while we continued to have a very rude audience who absolutely refused to quit gaping at her until our good friend who was with us actually told them they were being VERY rude and needed to leave! Believe it or not, they still stared! It was like Sera had suddenly turned into a Martian!! I hid her face with the book and just continued reading to her and even reread the book, in hopes they would leave before I had to put it down. Finally I started glaring and staring back over the top of the book. One little boy absolutely refused to back down until I coughed and caught his eye with the most evil teacher glare I could muster. Then he backed off with a very frightened look and went into another section quickly, while calling for a sibling. I felt badly for him but was so annoyed that I truly did not care if he had a parent come yell at me and was very prepared to call for security. Thankfully, nothing came of it and we finished our books and decided to leave to get our groceries. My oldest knew it was to leave before anyone else came over to stare, but she was so good to not say a thing. Sera was a happy little shopper and the afternoon went much better from that point on. I was very grateful that I did not see one person in the grocery store stare at all, and several people even spoke very kindly to her and my other children.

Nothing is all black and white and there truly are very kind people around us most every day. It just scares me sometimes how a few people can make such a big impression on my heart in not such a positive way. It scares me more to think of what types of impressions they have left on her heart.....

So, while I will desperately miss my baby's special little face, I truly do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it must be repaired. Thanks to the families who do not bother to teach children about respecting accepting differences in people, my baby has had far too much grief thrown her way in her short little life. She has been such a survivor and is the sweetest, happiest and spunkiest little kid despite it all. However changed her little face will be, her sweet little spirit with undoubtably still shine through.

I can only hope that I have said the right things to her and to others about her in her presence. I can only pray that the scars she wears on her heart will not continue to be bigger than the scars she will hide on her face.... I can only hope and pray that someday she will know how much I love her, scars and all...

Messing with perfection... Why? :-(

After a good friend suggested that I Ph*toshop Sera's face for her so that she could see what her surgery was going to do for her, I decided to try it. I really did not do it well, but it was the best approximation I could do. I used a smile from another sweetie who has had her lip repaired since I really do not know how Sera's lip will look. I am guessing it will be similar since they both have full little lips, but who knows.

I am glad that she suggested this because I am going to really have my work cut out for me, just getting myself to accept Sera's changes!! I love her little face like it is, gunky eyes and all... I know that her surgery is going to make her even more beautiful than I can imagine with photoshop, but I am so going to miss the sweet and spunky face she has now!

She will have her eye repaired by an occulopastic surgeon, once her facial clefting is worked on here the end of July. I had wanted to do this first, since we have had to wait so long to coordinate surgeons, but the occuloplastic surgeon wants to be last, so that they don't mess up his work... It will all be done by December and healed enough to hopefully look something like the above photo. Maybe??

I know that she will be so much happier when people do not do double takes upon meeting her, or stare openly at her. I just can't help feeling that part of her will be missing. The sweet and spunky little sloppy grin that kisses me each morning will be gone.... I have fallen so deeply in love with her and every aspect of her, that losing this special smile of hers is feeling very unfair to me right now. I really do believe and know that these surgeries are all in her best interest, but so wish that they were not necessary... To this old mom, she is just PERFECT, just the way her H*avenly F*ther created her!!