Appreciating the little things...

We have lost a very dear family friend to cancer this week. It has really been hard on Aubri, since, of the three kiddos, she spent the most time with him and really looked up to him as a male role model in her life. She calls him "Papa" Terry and her little heart has been broken, not understanding why he had to get sick and leave so soon. She has spent most of the week keeping up a brave face, but melting into tears several times a day.

Today was the viewing and we had planned for both she and I to go, since the little ones really do not understand and did not know him as well. Last night, Aubri came to me in tears and begged me not to take her. In the past 5 yrs, she had been to Terry's daughter's viewing ( passed away from lymphoma), some of my student's viewings ( I teach very fragile kiddos), another very close family friend's viewing and even our school secretary's viewing. I don't like viewings at all, but have always felt that it was an important thing to do for the grieving family. I had to rethink that completely last night...

Aubri so wisely told me that she just cannot go, that she does not want to remember him sick. She simply wants to remember Papa Terry teasing her and the bright twinkle in his eye. She said, " Mommie, I want to remember all the giggles and jokes, all the little things that no one sees there. I don't want to think of him being gone. I just want to keep his smile im my heart forever. You always tell me that I need to appreciate the little things and not worry about the material things I don't have. Please let me appreciate the little things Papa Terry left in my heart. Don't let a scary casket take them away!"

Needless to say, we did not go to the viewing and we both have just talked about the fun things we remember about "Papa" Terry today. He was an amazing friend and a wonderful husband to our good friend Pam. We talked about how much she will be missing him and how we can try to help. the ideas the kids have are pretty good. They drew photos and wrote letters to Pam and really had some different ideas I would not have thought of. In fact, we will be taking cotton candy ice cream over to the house for when people come to visit. It was one of Terry's favorites and Aubri finds this very comforting since it is also hers :-)

We also enjoyed the "little things" we have together as a family, that I hope all my kiddos can always keeps in their hearts! Terry will always be in our hearts and I hope his memory keeps us on the right track as we continue to create memories together.