Amazing gifts!

Recently, in the past two weeks, SeraYangYang has been much more accepting of affection and will seek out being held by me when she is happy and in a playful mood and somewhat when she is tired and ready to sleep. She has cuddled next to me while sucking her thumb, but pulled away when I would try to hold her close like a baby. This has been hard on me, since my sweet Andy has always been so willing to cuddle and snuggle with me and has always come to me when he has needed comfort. Sera has been so much less willing to trust that I really do want to comfort her and will always keep her safe when she is most vulnerable. When she has been tired and ready to sleep has been a time that she has pushed me away the most.

Last night.... my little darling initiated me cuddling, holding her and massaging her when she was tired! She played kissing games with me and made such amazing eye contact! She actually fell asleep in my arms while sucking her thumb and rubbing my neck with her fingers!! She is finally MY sweet little baby and she trusted me!! There is no more precious gift!!

I do know that there will continue to be moments that she doesn't trust and continues to feel like she has to take care of herself, but at least she is going to let me in once in a while and I know it just will get better and better over time.

She is just amazing me! With all she has been through. All the rejection and neglect she experienced in her SWI, having wonderful people care for her and love her in Changchun, then being taken from them to returned to the place who did not like her ( due to that extreme neglect they had also labeled and considered her extremely disabled enough for the CCAA to consider again to be adoptable if her file was returned) AND then being given to this funny looking white lady who did not smell like China at all, who then carted her through hotels, scary police stations and very long airplane rides to a place where everything sounds different, smells different and IS so very different..... Her resilience and survival abilities far surpass mine! I was so EXTREMELY drained after just two weeks of "crazy" changes in life while in China trying to bring her home...... I wasn't sure if I was ever going to feel like myself again and I experienced such a small amount of what she has lived with her entire little life...

I know she greatly misses Changchun. She looks at her photos of the staff and children there often and babbles to me about them happily. Life was good for her there! No wonder she was rocking and banging so hard when we first got her. She had just lost everything she loved and felt loved by....

I do have to admit that she has thoroughly enjoyed some of the changes she has had in her life while coming here, though.

I know that some families have experienced negative questions and comments about their children who have facial or other visible differences. Thankfully, we have NOT. Not at all. Our little town is either very accepting or Sera is just very adept at using her winning little smile to make them forget that she looks a bit different. I truly think that everyone who meets Sera sees her differences, but they remember her smile and dimples and pure glee! She loves being out in public and waving and talking to everyone she sees. She has the princess wave down pat and rides along in her shopping cart greeting her adoring public. There have been ZERO nasty stares and rude comments made. Some children have looked her over carefully, but when she smiles at them , they immediately smile back. I know she has brought smiles to many faces this shopping season who were not feeling so cheery while shopping.

She brings so much happiness and gleeful joy to our family every day as she is so excited and full of glee every time we pull into the driveway to come home, set the table for dinner, put food on the table ( no matter what kind!), look at any kind of books together, play games with any old toys, fold clean clothing and put them in her drawers, take her out of her bath and put lotion on her, praise her for having kept her pull up dry and being a big girl in the bathroom, give her a clean pullup, help her dress in clean clothing, put her hair up with bows and most especially when we hug her and kiss her.

My kids see how happy she is with the little things in life. We all see how happy she is with the things I often just took for granted and never really counted as blessings. Clean clothing, food on the table on a regular basis, a warm safe place to sleep, knowledge that we are safe and loved etc.. were just necessities of life, not pleasureful..... until our little Sera YangYang made sure that we learned to appreciate more than the trinkets which come under the Christmas tree!

She truly has brought many gifts of the best and most important things in life to our family and those around her. We are all better people now, because of her.....She, herself, is an absolutely amazing little gift of HIS pure love and joy!